Practically imperfect in every way

"It's not much of a life if you're just a pretty face"

For a good few years now, I have referred to myself as a Raggy Doll. Now, for those unfamiliar with the English 90’s cartoons of the same name, the raggy dolls are “rejects” from a toy line that are put into a bin as nobody will want them because of their imperfections, however, they are lovable, caring, kind and admirable and they have their own gang despite their individual shortcomings and deformities.

I am not perfect, far from it. Physically, I have tatty wirey hair that is never particularly neat, I do not have a symmetrical face which means you are not beautiful, according to many a popular fashion magazine and repeated at least once a year to sink into the minds of all of those young impressionable young people (this, by the way, does not mean you are not beautiful!). I have a big nose and I don’t get my eyebrows waxed as much as I should. My clothes often have thread hanging from the seam or tiny little holes where I have scuffed my knees or elbows, I have even had to sew up an additional accidental rip in my ripped jeans! My laces are forever coming undone, I trip over thin air and my makeup is often halfway down my face...I have a double chin if I relax a little too much. I am covered in moles and freckles, basically like a map of the night sky. My skin is not smooth, ever so slightly bobbly, not for any reason, that’s just the way it is. My voice is a little deeper than I would like and I talk far too much. My hands are not delicate looking, I have long fingers and short nails.

I am a rag doll.

I have more than one imperfection and I am happy that way. I have a number of close friends, each of which I see as perfect but each of them will tell me they have their flaws, invisible to my eyes. So they themselves would put themselves with me on the raggy doll scale. But are we rejects? No. We have each other and I would rather us all be individual with our own imperfections, our own lessons to share and learn from each other. I strive to be a little bit different, not drastically, not in order to stand out too much but because I don’t want to be part of the production line, I don’t want to be at that level of perfect….because I have spent so much of my life down here in the reject bin that I wouldn’t understand any other way, I wouldn’t want to.

Looking at this Raggydoll status from another point of view though…I also have a bit of a kindred spirit in Sally, the doll and friend of Jack Skellington in Nightmare before Christmas. Sally is kind, loving but has her flaws, she is pulled apart by those that don’t treat her well but works hard at fixing herself (sometimes unfixing herself) to get her out of those sticky situations. Whatever happens she always comes back together. That is me, working hard at pulling on my strings in order to pull each part of me back in, back to being whole again.

I am a raggy doll, I am not ashamed of that. I know that just because I have these imperfections that it does not change who I am as a person, that my soul is true and my heart is pure.

No matter what happens, how much I work at fixing those imperfections, they will remain as scars. They will remain as lessons.

My raggy doll status will continue and I will hold my tatty head up high with pride and I will be incredibly happy in my reject bin.

Kim xx